The Secret Formula of Getting What One Wants – Just “Give”!
Here is the secret to get what one wants. It is just giving. The reasons for it are based on the well-known philosophical dictum “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” The egg, and the chicken that is born out of it, create the circle of life, and form the basis for a profound comparison for attaining and giving what one wants: the circle of joy. This brilliant concept is analyzed in the clear voice and lucid prose of Masami Sato, the author of the book named ONE.
As humans, most of us naturally have endless desires for all kinds of things. And of course, the traditional principals of economics tell us that while wants are unlimited, resources are limited. This induces us to think, the more and more resources we have, the more and more desires we will be able to fulfill. We become very protective of our resources. We then think sharing or giving these resources will reduce the portion that can be used to get what we want. This is the traditional win-lose game that is being played.
Then, is it true?
What if the answer turns out to be “no”? What if it in fact contradicts the secret of attaining more? What if the secret of attaining more is in itself simple – by giving more?
One can get something just by giving something else. Exactly the way one can have eggs by raising chickens. As simple as that. Normal. Automatic. And it is a completely joyful experience.
First, let us start with a little analogy to explain more.
Chicken and Egg: The Circle of Life
Philosophers have made this query ever since time dawned, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”
The answer to this endless discussion is simple: It actually doesn’t matter because both chickens and eggs are here now. But if we want to have more great outcomes, we can choose to start somewhere.
Giving and Receiving: the Circle of Joy
What happens, if we pose a different question? “Which comes first, giving or receiving?”
Again, for better results, we have to begin somewhere. Giving away things to others is definitely far simpler than attempting to get it first!
What happens if we are trying to get it first?
If we hope to have something, surely we would try to acquire it. And once we get it, we would cling on to it. This is surely natural – it makes sense rationally.
But the actual upshot of ‘striving to get’ is often not profusion and actual long-term recompense.
For example, wanting to see others being happy is not about getting the joy from them or controlling them to become happy. It is about how much joy we can give them and share with them. Period.
So how do we begin to get what we desire?
From the other end of the circle – by giving generously!
When we start giving before we even have what we hope to get – that which we dream of – we are sending out a powerful message to ourselves which tells us, ‘there is enough, and more will come.’ It allows us to sense the joy today – the joy of giving.
All that is required of us is to give out the love in abundance to others. It would somehow come back to us. Giving love is the only way to be completely loved. When we recognize others for the big things they do and great credentials they have, again it would come back to us. Others accept us because we accept them.
In the same manner, if we want to have plenty in our life materially, financially, and mentally, we have to share in full measure with others, what we want.
Some people may choose to give materially by giving their time. Others would choose to give financially by giving their wealth. Those who give much more (like time, wealth, kindness, affection, principles etc.) have more of all these because it is the balance. And balance is the law of nature.
Just keep in mind the rule of the game
Important rule: never give anything expecting a return.
When we have the anticipation that giving involves ‘getting’ something back, we become unhappy when we do not see the thing returning to us fast. We may even feel unhappy towards the one who gets the gift. And having a negative feeling for someone is definitely not a right state of affairs! So we can know the real pleasure of giving when we are doing it with the awareness that we are actually doing it for ourselves – we are doing it for our own pleasure!
Losing to win, giving to receive
In the beginning it may look as if we are losing. However, at some stage we recognize that taking things without giving is not an acceptable life pattern. And we have been aware of it all throughout. That is why tithing has been a normal part of the lives of many people who were leaders. And they did not do it with any fanfare so it was not done to gain popularity. It was done because it was a way of life.
Just take a look around. ‘Simple’ forms of life on the earth do it routinely. The bumblebees fertilize the flowers in return for the honey they take from them and ensure that the flowers bloom profusely. Habitually. That is the rule. They do not do it consciously. That is why they maintain nature’s balance, without even trying.
Giving is just a part of who we are, the same as having; nothing more or less. No complications, no strings attached; just letting go.
The gist of getting more can be summarised into two steps: Give first, and do not hope to get anything in return.
When we let go and give generously, what we want will be delivered to us. Naturally.
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